Well, its like 12 plus in the morning now.Think will sleep at about 3-4 plus ba.Eating chocolates now, i just can't resist them when i want them.
Just finished reading the blogs of some 2/4'04 ppl.Had many feelings and thoughts.I regret not trying to interact more with all the ppl in 2/4'04.I think i have to blame myself for that.I just don't know why.Ever since pri 5 or maybe earlier, i have been like that.I have lost myself since then.
I am just contented to have a few close friends.In my pri 5 and 6 year, i was lucky to have Siew Hwee with me and some others.Got better in secondary school.Had more friends.However, there is still something missing.Its not the real me who are having these friends.Its the me who is trying to hide or maybe protect the real me who is having these friends.
Nobody knows the real me, not even myself.I have lost myself and i think that it is very very difficult to find the real me back.I was like thinking why is this happening to me, why can't i just have a normal life, a normal family and why can't i be a normal person.
Sometimes there are many things that you can't bring yourself to say as you don't want anyone to know what the hell has happened to you.The results is that you have to suffer alone. It does not matter when you are alone.Sometimes when you are alone, you are more comfortable and you don't suffer as much.
Sometimes i was thinking why am i here un this world?Did heaven sent me here to suffer?I thought of leaving this world for many times thought its less than 10 times.However, i don't have the courage to do it.Whenever i think of leaving, i will be thinking that i should not leave so early, i should stay on and experience life.Its like i am still so young and i don't know what is life yet, how could i leave like that.If i am not wrong, thats the real me telling the lost me all the thing to prevent me from leaving.
Ppl reading this might think that i am mad or just writing crap but i am serious.If you guys knew what i had done in the past, you will be miles away from me.Maybe you don't believe it but don't believe in what you see and heard,believe in what you feels.
I miss myself,the real me.
To evon, jean , xiangjun and lin xiu,
Things will not be the same from now onwards.Though we can still stay together, but things will really never be the same.So treasure what we have now or one day we will find that what we used to have is gone.Lets try to keep us together ok?I will really miss you guys now that we are in different classes.Though you guys are still near me, i will still miss you guys like we are in different parts of the world.I hope that our friendship will stay firm always.

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